"I am stronger than depression and braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me".
-Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Go Time.

Taken by my sister Courtney! @courtneybrettphotography

So I just got back from my latest clinic visit.  All of my numbers are ever so slowly creeping up (nothing was super frightening, but obviously nothing is getting better either...).  We increased some blood pressure meds, added an additional calcium supplement, and actually decreased the amount of injections I will take for my hemoglobin (it was too high for the first time in my life).  I FINALLY got my TB test done which means I can be added to the transplant list.  This also means I can potentially get a call at any time saying they have a kidney for me and I will need to just drop everything and go. Talk about inconvenient (that part doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would - maybe because I have so many other things that can bother me at the moment, this one doesn't seem that big - who knows).  I just want to get it over and done with! It is not likely that I will get a call any time soon; it could be years before there is an appropriate match for me.
Which brings us to dialysis.

My doctor is leaning towards inserting the fistula sooner rather than later (gag) because it can take awhile before it becomes useable.  There is also the risk that the fistula won't take at all and they will have to try another site.  It is a minor procedure that I will need to take a few days off of work (and riding) for.  But once it's in, I should be good to go.  If they aren't able to make the fistula work, I will need to get the PC catheter inserted to my chest (double gag).  This does not mean I am starting dialysis, just that it's coming.

I am kind of having an "oh yeah this is happening" moment.  Not that this hasn't all felt very real yet, but it doesn't get much more real than having to live with gross tubing in your arm - blah.  I am however feeling incredibly fortunate for all of the love and support I have in my life.  It's an amazing thing to have numerous people I can call and have them all be able to screw my head back on straight (not an easy task, I can be a difficult person to manage at the best of times).  So thank you all for listening and offering support - it's making it all much more manageable right now.    

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