Friday, October 20, 2017
I've had a bit of an emotional week. It was a fabulous week. I had a full schedule of amazing clients, beautiful weather to walk Harlow in, stellar rides on my pony, great friends, and stunning sunsets. Each time I experienced one of these moments that fuelled my soul, my heart broke a little with the reality that there will be a point where I don't get to do these things. It won't be the same. I hate that I have that thought sitting in the back of my head all the time. Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING every moment and living my life much more in the present moment than I ever have. I am taking it all in. And it's showing. Since changing my life drastically and moving my practice into my home, changing how I spend my energy and putting myself first, my numbers have improved. I still need another transplant, and soon, but not today.
I had my client appointment almost a month ago and it went really well. We have found a happy place with my meds and my blood pressure is manageable and my eating has been much better so those numbers have improved as well. We made a date for me to go to the vein clinic to see if I have strong enough veins for a fistula. To be honest, I'm doubtful, but trying to stay optimist. I have really crappy veins - that's what you get for having transplant drugs pumped through your system for almost 10 years. BUT, it is still the option that I think suits me best for dialysis. Once it is inserted it's covered by skin so there is less of a risk for infection, meaning I could still ride and do pretty much everything else I would like to do. The second option if the fistula doesn't work out is a PC catheter, it's a tube that is inserted just above my chest. Because it isn't a closed object, the risk for infection is higher, and knowing my luck it would get infected. So we will have to wait and see.
Overall I really am feeling pretty good. I have found a nice, sustainable schedule that allows me to cater to all of my clients as well as myself and I am doing my best to enjoy each moment as they come, making time for dance parties, ponies, friends, sunset hunting and obviously Lady H!