Chasing Sunsets

I've had a bit of an emotional week.  It was a fabulous week.  I had a full schedule of amazing clients, beautiful weather to walk Harlow in, stellar rides on my pony, great friends, and stunning sunsets.  Each time I experienced one of these moments that fuelled my soul, my heart broke a little with the reality that there will be a point where I don't get to do these things.  It won't be the same.  I hate that I have that thought sitting in the back of my head all the time.   Don't get me wrong, I am LOVING every moment and living my life much more in the present moment than I ever have.  I am taking it all in.  And it's showing.  Since changing my life drastically and moving my practice into my home, changing how I spend my energy and putting myself first, my numbers have improved.  I still need another transplant, and soon, but not today.

I had my client appointment almost a month ago and it went really well.  We have found a happy place with my meds and my blood pressure is manageable and my eating has been much better so those numbers have improved as well.  We made a date for me to go to the vein clinic to see if I have strong enough veins for a fistula.  To be honest, I'm doubtful, but trying to stay optimist.  I have really crappy veins - that's what you get for having transplant drugs pumped through your system for almost 10 years.  BUT, it is still the option that I think suits me best for dialysis.  Once it is inserted it's covered by skin so there is less of a risk for infection, meaning I could still ride and do pretty much everything else I would like to do.  The second option if the fistula doesn't work out is a PC catheter, it's a tube that is inserted just above my chest.  Because it isn't a closed object, the risk for infection is higher, and knowing my luck it would get infected.  So we will have to wait and see.  

Overall I really am feeling pretty good.  I have found a nice, sustainable schedule that allows me to cater to all of my clients as well as myself and I am doing my best to enjoy each moment as they come, making time for dance parties, ponies, friends, sunset hunting and obviously Lady H!